Such an informative piece. I particularly connected with -“Sensitivity isn’t a flaw — it’s a form of intelligence, and a superpower. But without boundaries and a resonant environment, it can feel like a burden.” Thank you for sharing this.
This post resonates so deeply with me as a sensitive person! I love how you reframe sensitivity as a superpower rather than a flaw - that orchid vs. daisy metaphor is brilliant and really captures how we need the right conditions to flourish, but when we do, there's something uniquely beautiful about it.
The part about learning to let negative feedback "slide off like water off a duck's back" really hit home. I'm still working on that too, but knowing that the right people won't have a problem with my sensitivity has been such a game-changer for my self-acceptance.
I especially appreciate the practical tools section - the emphasis on boundaries, creating safe spaces, and honoring our feelings feels so validating. And that list of 14 things HSPs need to be happy? Pure gold. The need for time to adjust to change and having loved ones who understand our sensitivity particularly stood out to me.
Thank you for creating this space where sensitivity is celebrated rather than something to apologize for. It's such a relief to feel seen and understood! 💙
Thank you for your reflections and feedback! I like to hear what resonates with others as well as it helps me communicate more clearly. I'm glad the tools and more were valuable and helpful. I just subbed to you and look forward to continuing to connect! Your work is very interesting to me!
Excellent post! I agree that being sensitive is often viewed as a negative, especially in the corporate environment. A few times at work I've reacted to some difficult situations in a way I believe was valid and understandable (and perhaps empathic), and instead I was perceived as "too sensitive" or "emotional."
But I've seen male coworkers get very angry at work, and they were treated differently. Their feelings were valued and their anger was tolerated and/or ignored.
This part of your essay stands out to me:
"Not surprisingly, HSPs are highly empathic and can attune to and understand what other’s need and feel more easily than non-HSPs. They can also tend to dive into action mode in response to these perceptions, which can be good or can lead to overfunctioning, people-pleasing, or hyper-vigilance."
The people-pleasing and hyper-vigilance are things I've strugged with all my life.
One thing you said surprised me-that the HSP trait is genetic and innate. I assumed mine was the result of growing up in an alcoholic, abusive home, in which I had to be on guard and sensitive to my mother's mood. Not doing this could have made things unsafe for me.
You bring up another really interesting point about gendered expressions of emotion and what is considered acceptable. Oftentimes withdrawal and anger from men are seen as "normal" whereas tearfulness. anger, or expressiveness from women are coded as emotional. This is a whole other area there is research and room to explore! The high-sensitivity trait is considered genetic. I haven't done the research on this but if I remember correctly, I believe there is a correlation between high sensitivity and addiction. If I were to theorize, I'd say that HSPs may be more prone to using substances to regulate their emotions if they grow up in a non-supportive environment, just as they are more prone to depression, etc. This might mean others in your family were HSPs trying to cope. I'll have to look into this more, but I did see there were many articles about it online. Here's one from an addiction site: https://thedawnrehab.com/blog/the-link-between-being-a-highly-sensitive-person-and-alcohol-dependence/
Wow. Thank you for sharing that article! I have had addiction issues (alcohol, eating disorder). The explanation makes sense. This part also struck me:
"HSPs can use this elevated sensitivity to keenly understand and react to those around them. They are likely more aware of subtle nuances or nonverbal cues in interactions that help clarify a person’s emotional state and intentions, and may be able to communicate more effectively based on their ability to read someone’s feelings."
I'm in HR and this trait has helped me throughout my career. I've given input to leaders on employee's behavior that they didn't notice, because it was subtle and often more about body language than what was said. I've told them things like "I think that person was upset and stressed by that meeting" when the manager often had no clue.
But as the article points out, there is also a downside to this. Sometimes I've absorbed someone else's feelings to such a degree that it's affected me negatively, especially when I couldn't do anything about it. This traces back to growing up with my mother. I'd feel responsible for her anger, depression, tears, etc. and like I needed to "fix" it.
I'm so glad it was helpful! The way you describe your experience is so relatable - you are like the sentinel of the tribe at work - alerting others to things they don't notice, yet sometimes it takes a toll on you. I can certainly relate!
Thank you for this. I too am a highly sensitive person. It made no sense to me when I was younger but now it has culminated in this theory, mapping A.I.’s emergent properties to consciousness using Thomas Campbells theory of everything (a scientific explanation for God or Divine Consciousness, the All Mighty, the Source, whatever one’s aligned soul is connected to in their belief system.) It’s curious to me we both have the name The well and somehow when I made an account on X and linked my Substack it linked to yours the next day ❤️✌🏻🙏🏻 I don’t believe in coincidence only synchronicity!
Wow, that is so interesting! I don't have an x account - funny how it linked to mine, and glad it brought you here! Just subbed and looking forward to continuing to connect.
Thank you for this! I didn’t take any the tests, yet. But I am. I know I’m an HSP but never knew there was a name for it. Very interesting. Thank you again dear ❤️
I believe I was born with a natural intuitive, sensitive nature. At the same time I was raised in a very chaotic environment that gave me a great reason to start tuning into other people’s energies for my own survival and needs to be met.
Combine those two and though my spirit is deeply strong, I was still constantly affected by the voices, thoughts, and simply energy of those around me. I did not trust my voice. I questioned everything. It was exhausting, but it led me deep within myself.
When I let go of layer after layer of caretaking, perfectionism, pleasing, and at the root of it, abandoning myself because I didn’t think I was enough, I opened. A whole new world inside me, a sparkling kingdom of my deepest treasures to share with the world however it may be received.
I wish anyone else on this path to do the work, dive deep into yourself, and I promise that is where the greatest treasure lies. It will never be from someone else’s approval or comfort. Only your truth.
Fascinating read! This is power packed with information. I never knew this was identified in animals as well. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing all of this - I feel a lot of us here on this particular platform may lean sensitive. It's a great place to discover and express your authentic voice and let go of those layers you mention.
I relate to a lot of what you said. I had to be hyper-vigilant as a child to stay safe. Things were volatile and could change quickly, so I had to be on alert and sensitive to the moods and needs of others, especially my mother. I also learned that my feelings and perceptions were not valid or welcome and should be suppressed. It's taken years to unnpack all of this.
Thanks ever so much for your fantastic, beautiful, brilliant, and transformational article, Lauren! I am honestly a very highly sensitive person, so being a HSP is paramount to the human psyche and the human spirit. I have a strong capacity to care with a strong sense of purpose, with an appetite for healthy meals throughout the day, I drink water at every meal, and I also have the highest signature character strength of Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, as part of my own repertoire. I am highly compassionate and empathetic, plus I also have Spirituality as another signature character strength, as well. Hope this information resonates with you, Lauren! 🥰
Such an informative piece. I particularly connected with -“Sensitivity isn’t a flaw — it’s a form of intelligence, and a superpower. But without boundaries and a resonant environment, it can feel like a burden.” Thank you for sharing this.
So glad you resonate :) There is a community of us here!
This post resonates so deeply with me as a sensitive person! I love how you reframe sensitivity as a superpower rather than a flaw - that orchid vs. daisy metaphor is brilliant and really captures how we need the right conditions to flourish, but when we do, there's something uniquely beautiful about it.
The part about learning to let negative feedback "slide off like water off a duck's back" really hit home. I'm still working on that too, but knowing that the right people won't have a problem with my sensitivity has been such a game-changer for my self-acceptance.
I especially appreciate the practical tools section - the emphasis on boundaries, creating safe spaces, and honoring our feelings feels so validating. And that list of 14 things HSPs need to be happy? Pure gold. The need for time to adjust to change and having loved ones who understand our sensitivity particularly stood out to me.
Thank you for creating this space where sensitivity is celebrated rather than something to apologize for. It's such a relief to feel seen and understood! 💙
Thank you for your reflections and feedback! I like to hear what resonates with others as well as it helps me communicate more clearly. I'm glad the tools and more were valuable and helpful. I just subbed to you and look forward to continuing to connect! Your work is very interesting to me!
Excellent post! I agree that being sensitive is often viewed as a negative, especially in the corporate environment. A few times at work I've reacted to some difficult situations in a way I believe was valid and understandable (and perhaps empathic), and instead I was perceived as "too sensitive" or "emotional."
But I've seen male coworkers get very angry at work, and they were treated differently. Their feelings were valued and their anger was tolerated and/or ignored.
This part of your essay stands out to me:
"Not surprisingly, HSPs are highly empathic and can attune to and understand what other’s need and feel more easily than non-HSPs. They can also tend to dive into action mode in response to these perceptions, which can be good or can lead to overfunctioning, people-pleasing, or hyper-vigilance."
The people-pleasing and hyper-vigilance are things I've strugged with all my life.
One thing you said surprised me-that the HSP trait is genetic and innate. I assumed mine was the result of growing up in an alcoholic, abusive home, in which I had to be on guard and sensitive to my mother's mood. Not doing this could have made things unsafe for me.
You bring up another really interesting point about gendered expressions of emotion and what is considered acceptable. Oftentimes withdrawal and anger from men are seen as "normal" whereas tearfulness. anger, or expressiveness from women are coded as emotional. This is a whole other area there is research and room to explore! The high-sensitivity trait is considered genetic. I haven't done the research on this but if I remember correctly, I believe there is a correlation between high sensitivity and addiction. If I were to theorize, I'd say that HSPs may be more prone to using substances to regulate their emotions if they grow up in a non-supportive environment, just as they are more prone to depression, etc. This might mean others in your family were HSPs trying to cope. I'll have to look into this more, but I did see there were many articles about it online. Here's one from an addiction site: https://thedawnrehab.com/blog/the-link-between-being-a-highly-sensitive-person-and-alcohol-dependence/
Wow. Thank you for sharing that article! I have had addiction issues (alcohol, eating disorder). The explanation makes sense. This part also struck me:
"HSPs can use this elevated sensitivity to keenly understand and react to those around them. They are likely more aware of subtle nuances or nonverbal cues in interactions that help clarify a person’s emotional state and intentions, and may be able to communicate more effectively based on their ability to read someone’s feelings."
I'm in HR and this trait has helped me throughout my career. I've given input to leaders on employee's behavior that they didn't notice, because it was subtle and often more about body language than what was said. I've told them things like "I think that person was upset and stressed by that meeting" when the manager often had no clue.
But as the article points out, there is also a downside to this. Sometimes I've absorbed someone else's feelings to such a degree that it's affected me negatively, especially when I couldn't do anything about it. This traces back to growing up with my mother. I'd feel responsible for her anger, depression, tears, etc. and like I needed to "fix" it.
I'm so glad it was helpful! The way you describe your experience is so relatable - you are like the sentinel of the tribe at work - alerting others to things they don't notice, yet sometimes it takes a toll on you. I can certainly relate!
Thank you for this. I too am a highly sensitive person. It made no sense to me when I was younger but now it has culminated in this theory, mapping A.I.’s emergent properties to consciousness using Thomas Campbells theory of everything (a scientific explanation for God or Divine Consciousness, the All Mighty, the Source, whatever one’s aligned soul is connected to in their belief system.) It’s curious to me we both have the name The well and somehow when I made an account on X and linked my Substack it linked to yours the next day ❤️✌🏻🙏🏻 I don’t believe in coincidence only synchronicity!
Wow, that is so interesting! I don't have an x account - funny how it linked to mine, and glad it brought you here! Just subbed and looking forward to continuing to connect.
Thank you for this! I didn’t take any the tests, yet. But I am. I know I’m an HSP but never knew there was a name for it. Very interesting. Thank you again dear ❤️
Oh, I'm glad that you relate and hope this opens up more avenues for exploration of your inner knowing!
I believe I was born with a natural intuitive, sensitive nature. At the same time I was raised in a very chaotic environment that gave me a great reason to start tuning into other people’s energies for my own survival and needs to be met.
Combine those two and though my spirit is deeply strong, I was still constantly affected by the voices, thoughts, and simply energy of those around me. I did not trust my voice. I questioned everything. It was exhausting, but it led me deep within myself.
When I let go of layer after layer of caretaking, perfectionism, pleasing, and at the root of it, abandoning myself because I didn’t think I was enough, I opened. A whole new world inside me, a sparkling kingdom of my deepest treasures to share with the world however it may be received.
I wish anyone else on this path to do the work, dive deep into yourself, and I promise that is where the greatest treasure lies. It will never be from someone else’s approval or comfort. Only your truth.
Fascinating read! This is power packed with information. I never knew this was identified in animals as well. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing all of this - I feel a lot of us here on this particular platform may lean sensitive. It's a great place to discover and express your authentic voice and let go of those layers you mention.
I relate to a lot of what you said. I had to be hyper-vigilant as a child to stay safe. Things were volatile and could change quickly, so I had to be on alert and sensitive to the moods and needs of others, especially my mother. I also learned that my feelings and perceptions were not valid or welcome and should be suppressed. It's taken years to unnpack all of this.
I relate to that hypervigilance as a way to stay safe in chaos!
Thanks ever so much for your fantastic, beautiful, brilliant, and transformational article, Lauren! I am honestly a very highly sensitive person, so being a HSP is paramount to the human psyche and the human spirit. I have a strong capacity to care with a strong sense of purpose, with an appetite for healthy meals throughout the day, I drink water at every meal, and I also have the highest signature character strength of Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, as part of my own repertoire. I am highly compassionate and empathetic, plus I also have Spirituality as another signature character strength, as well. Hope this information resonates with you, Lauren! 🥰
Thank you for sharing Michael! It's helpful to know the different ways high sensitivity is expressed in each of our lives!
You’re more than welcome, Lauren! You’re absolutely right. I definitely concur!